Telecommuting It In

From a 4/05 post titled “7 Deadly Office Sins”:
Do NOT bring up Office Space at work. It’s a funny movie, and it’s very good. But no matter what reference you make to it while at work, your work situation will never, EVER be as funny as the movie.

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. This is my confession.

Well it’s not exactly bringing up Office Space at work if you are not physically at your office, is it? After all, the quote I would like to use to preface this post is fitting, but for the actual place of use, I guess I didn’t technically do anything wrong. I’m really quoting Office Space ABOUT work, not AT work, so you know what? I didn’t commit one of the 7 Office Deadly Sins. But since I’m typing here in the Confessional, I might as well confess a sin I plan to commit sometime in the near future. Father, I am sorry for when I pretend to be on the phone when that crazy woman down the hall comes and tries to orate on what it takes to be a good parent. My bad.

Ok, on to the quote:
Joanna: So you're gonna quit?
Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going.
Joanna: When did you decide all that?
Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.
Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?
Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.

Translation: Working from home is great.

Over the course of the last two weeks, while home trying to introduce the outside world to a brand new human being, I was able to do all of my work-related computing from the comfy confines of our apartment. And I gotta confess, it was pretty sweet.

Normally, you take off work on a weekday because you have a reason that will not allow you to come to work that day. Vacations are popular; not only will you not be in the office, you’re not even planning on being in the town/state/country. No one can contact you, and if they do, we think it might be time to turn that Blackberry into the most expensive skipping stone ever to be launched into the drink.

And then there’s the glorious Monday of a 3-day weekend. However, the government has not decreed you to stay home from work just for the hell of it – they feel that you must be celebrating something. Which is why so often that Monday will have a barbeque, picnic, or ball game planted in the middle of your off-day agenda.

And I don’t take sick days. They're for sick people.

Which leaves virtually zero days during the week in which I may wake up in my bed and have a completely clear, non-work schedule ahead of me. Sure, they’ll be diapers to change and clothes to wash, but that beats sitting at a desk, doesn’t it? And sure, I can log some hours by getting work done on the laptop, but would they know the difference if I’m wearing shorts and sandals and sitting in the Big Brown Chair? (all rights reserved) Heck, no! In fact, I’m thinking of moving all operations to homebase – if I’m getting my work done – who cares if I’ve got Cool Runnings on over my shoulder? I don't think anyone would mind if Sanka Coffie chimed in on the occasional conference call. Hell, he does my taxes, I'm sure he could contribute.

And yet somehow, inexplicably, the blog slows down when I’m at home. As the Magical YAB Post-Partum Tour rolls on, we’re doing our best to amend that (I think this Post #6, and Wednesday’s not even over yet). I guess the reason is simple:

I must have left the funny locked in my office drawer.

Postscript: Have you ever watched a DVD in the background of your work computer and gotten away with it? If so, the comments are your forum to brag.