Scoring the Duel - AFC

Let’s kick off another big week at YAB with the second half of our Scoring the Duel recap, where we see how our Fall TV vs. NFL match-up predictions fared, with no real statistical grading method other than “Because I Said So.” And now, the AFC.

Obligatory link alert:
NFC North and South, NFC East and West,
AFC North and South, AFC East and West

Pittsburgh Steelers vs. FOX’s The Winner – You may have seen in recent ads that Fox is finally ready to unroll their Rob Corddry sitcom. It’s hard to say how well it will do, but with a better lead than Brad Garrett in the star’s chair, YAB still has high hopes. So even with an incomplete resume, we’ll give this rookie the edge over a truly disappointing Pittsburgh Steelers (8-8) campaign. Certainly Joey Porter will be tuning in to tilt the Nielsen scales against his old team. VERDICT: WRONG!

Baltimore Ravens vs. ABC’s Knights of Prosperity – There’s this great old SNL cartoon whereupon winning the Super Bowl, the Disney Corp (ABC’s parent) tries to make it up to Ray Lewis for not sending him to Disney World by giving him his own animated feature, Ray of Light. Really, one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on SNL. Why? Because the “Disney Corporation now acknowledges that Trent Dilfer sucks.” So that’s what’s been said of Baltimore (13-3). Meanwhile, “Knights” ran an ad blitz featuring all these great praise quotes from EW and Rolling Stone. And yet, it’s currently up against American Idol. Ah. VERDICT: RIGHT!

Cincinnati Bengals vs. ABC’s The Nine: The Nine, a bank hostage drama, has been off the air since November. That’s a big mistake on our part. In our preview of the Bengals (8-8), we were initially referring to the jersey number of QB Carson Palmer. Turns out, we meant Chris Henry, Deltha O’Neal, Reggie McNeal, Odell Thurman, Eric Steinbach, Matthias Askew, Frostee Rucker, A.J. Nicholson, and yeah, Chris Henry again. Nine Bengals that were arrested this year. VERDICT: WRONG!

Cleveland Browns vs. ABC’s Dancing with the Stars: There are no football players on this year’s installment of Dancing with the Stars. That said, we still think about 7 of the contestants could make the Browns’ (4-12) roster out of training camp. VERDICT: RIGHT!

Houston Texans vs. NBC’s Friday Night Lights: The Texans (6-10) had a much better year than anyone realized. They swept Jacksonville and beat the Colts for the first time in their history. Good for the Texans. And Friday Night Lights started off slow, virtually recreating Varsity Blues in their first episode, but has moved on to create a well-directed, gripping drama that Jasen Andersen will kill me if I don’t give it the win here. VERDICT: RIGHT!

Jacksonville Jaguars vs. CBS’ The Class – God, I hated the Jags (8-8) this year. I’d pick them to lose tough games to good teams, which they’d win. Then I’d pick them to win games over beatable opponents on the road and they’d lose. Their defense was solid, but it’s time to try someone new at quarterback. And meanwhile, completely under the radar, The Class continues to succeed in the wheelhouse of CBS, their Monday night comedy block. I smell renewal in their future. VERDICT: RIGHT!

Indianapolis Colts vs. NBC’s Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Ok, for Studio 60 to win a match-up against the Super Bowl Champion, it would have to be everything that was good about SportsNight and the West Wing and then take it to the next level. I’ve seen every episode of Studio 60, and while I’ve enjoyed it, it’s only been enjoyed because it’s Aaron Sorkin writing the show. Overall, they’ve made sketch comedy seem largely uninteresting. The magic just isn’t there. VERDICT: WRONG!

Tennessee Titans vs. CBS’ Survivor: Cook Islands – I think it’s time that Survivor either 1) calls it a day and throws in the towel or 2) moves to somewhere non-tropical – like Alaska. I’d watch Survivor Alaska. Competitors running around on the beach – the seasons aren’t memorable any more. So move it somewhere off the beach. The Titans (8-8) may tune in as well, since all is well in Nashville. It appears that not only did Vince Young not eat his playbook, he proved that it doesn’t take a laser-rocket arm to win some football games. VERDICT: WRONG!

Miami Dolphins vs. NBC’s 30 Rock – So I picked Studio 60 to thrive and 30 Rock to implode. Why did I not consider the Baldwin Factor? Alec Baldwin has now entered the acting stratosphere where he can pretty much play Alec Baldwin in any role and people will love him. Look at the following efforts: 30 Rock, The Cooler, Along Came Polly, The Departed, Fun with Dick and Jane – he’s always playing Alec Baldwin. And that, apparently, is what has cemented 30 Rock as part of NBC’s solid 4 comedies. Oh, and the Dolphins (6-10) kinda sucked. VERDICT: WRONG!

New England Patriots vs. NBC’s Kidnapped – Never pick a rookie tv show against Bill Belichick (12-4). Never pick a rookie tv show against Bill Belichick. Never pick a rookie tv show against Bill Belichick. Never pick a rookie tv show against Bill Belichick. Never pick a rookie tv show against Bill Belichick. VERDICT: RIGHT!

New York Jets vs. ABC’s Men in Trees – From my original prediction – “But no, this show will play out like a cross between “Someone Like You” and that crappy Heather Graham sitcom that lasted all of 3 episodes.” While that may be true, people inexplicably are watching it. The Jets, on the other hand, had a great year and a playoff appearance, and nobody seemed to notice. VERDICT: RIGHT!

Buffalo Bills vs. ABC’s Six Degrees – I watched this pilot. I wasn’t surprised when it got cancelled. Heroes did the same exact premise, and gave people mutant-like superpowers. So which is better, a 7-9 football team that performed right about to expectations, or a show that was half-decent that’s now on hiatus. Considering Buffalo was still in the playoff race in Wk 15, I’ll give them the W here. VERDICT: WRONG!

Denver Broncos vs. CBS’ Shark – Man, I was quick to write this one off. With Denver (9-7) on the outside looking in, James Woods had led this show to strong ratings and a renewal for a second season. But hey, at least Jake Plummer won’t be around to see it. VERDICT: WRONG!

Oakland Raiders vs. FOX’s Celebrity Duets – What? You mean I have to pick a winner of this one? The Raiders, who for so long pretended they didn’t plan on winning a single game, and actually got worse once Aaron Brooks got injured? Or Celebrity Duets? A stupid reality show that crowned CARLTON from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air its king? Come on – this isn’t fair. VERDICT: RIGHT? (But only because I hear Carlton broke out his “It’s Not Unusual” dance on stage.)

San Diego Chargers vs. FOX’s Vanished – What’s the difference between Kidnapped and Vanished? Not much, apparently. Not only did Ladanian Tomlinson not watch either of these vaguely-named programs, he made sure that anyone who drafted him in Fantasy Football has a new trophy to shine. (With the exception of me, who managed to work some WM-league magic with Stephen Jackson. Muwaha.) VERDICT: RIGHT!

Kansas City Chiefs vs. BRAVO’s Top Chef – You know my favorite part about 32-team, 32-TV show preview recap columns? The end. VERDICT: RIGHT!

AFC 9, Fall TV 7
Condon’s Record: 9-7 (20-12)

NFL 20, Fall TV 12