NBC = No Bus Conspiracy

After going to the shore a few weeks ago, I've finally gotten back into the swing of things at work, and this includes making a semidaily pilgramage to the SAIC gym in my building here in McLean. It's more than serviceable, as it is high on machinery, low on attendees, and all the Gatorade you can't drink. ??? Yeah, there's a bright yellow vending machine in there advertising the "Nectar of the Gods" (a stretch, I know), but I have yet to partake of its electrolytic offering. You see, there aren't too many days that I am on the treadmill with $1.10 in spare change tucked in my A) shoe B) mp3 player C) pocketless shorts D) none of the above. Anyways, what are the odds that by the end of the day I'll have 11 dimes, anyways?

The reason I like to run on treadmills as opposed to outside are really threefold. (for a frame of reference, a good paper airplane is actually sevenfold). In the first place, running outside in this traffic ridden city will ensure years would be taken off of my life. In the second place, I'm much less likely to, say, stop running and walk for a half mile, therefore negating the phrase "cardiovascular workout." And in the third place, carrying a television outside to keep my mind off of thinking how boring running is would do a number on my back. At the gym, they actually bolt them to the wall. Much better.

While running after work yesterday, the TV was set to NBC's 5 o'clock news, while with every step I became more fidgety that I had to deal with this local broadcast instead of ANYTHING from Athens. (Heck, I would have settled for rhythmic gymnastics...) But someone else was watching that channel first, therefore under the clause of prima visum I couldn't flip over to PTI.
The top story, and I kid you not, dealt with a little girl in Beltsville who had her first day of school yesterday. (Seems simple enough. Slow news day?) This little girl got on the wrong bus. Period. That was the whole story. Little girl. From Beltsville. Wrong bus.

I can make up better stories than that. Heck, I can even pull from my own first day of school cursed experience:

• First day of middle school: Only kid on the bus stop. Got on the bus. 5 minutes in, realized bus is headed for Shawnee High School. Drat.
• First day of high school: Again, only kid on the bus stop. Got on the bus. 3 minutes in, realize everyone but me is in a school uniform. Bus is headed for Holy Cross High School. Double drat.
• First day of college: First class is in Jones, on the other side of campus. Pouring rain. My sandal breaks a buckle rendering my left foot pretty useless. Soaking wet, ten minutes late. One seat left, front and center. And the professor's a dumb man from Arkansas.

If this girl gets the lead story in a major metropolitan news outlet, I must deserve a feature segment on World News Tonight.

Sidebar: They actually had camera footage of this little girl getting off the bus in tears? Why in the name of Lenny Krazyelberg did NBC have a camera crew at the little girl's bus stop??? If I find out that the peacock slipped some other bus driver a fresh new dollar bill to stop at the wrong stop...