What are we to skew?

This morning, Princeton Review came out with their annual "Rank 'em, rate 'em, and make a cool mil off our fat book" report on the 357 Best Colleges in America. (They did include McGill U. in Montreal. Hosers, eh?) Now while my card says finance and my career says finance, let's not forget that my degree says marketing, and with marketing comes research courses in how to create an unbiased survey. A proper survey should contain no obvious external influences to the respondent pool, and well frankly, with the number 1's in a lot of this book, I just don't see how this could be valid. Let's cut PR some slack though, it's not like they're the Harvard Review. (Oh, no he didn't!!)

Here are some flaws, thanks to my keen error detection skills (KEDS) (Wait a minute, that acronym sucks. I am not wearing non-descript white sneaker-loafer hybrids now, nor have I EVER worn non-descript white sneaker-loafer hybrids.)

"School Runs Like Butter #1" - Middlebury College - See, this one is in the phrasing. Like butter? Any student whose college is in a state with more cows than people is surely going answer a big yes here. Welcome to Vermont: Where our schools run on butter. (Alternative energy source problem solved!)

"Lots of Hard Liquor #1 - Washington and Lee - Brings "beer run" to a whole new level. Why go to the local Kroger to pick up a case of Bud Light when they are 40 miles from the Jack Daniels Distillery? Of COURSE they're going to be number 1. Stupid pollsters.

"Stone-Cold Sober Schools #1" - Brigham Young - Ok, let's see. School in Utah...founded by the successor to Joseph Smith...Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints...could this be a Mormon college? So many coincidences...so little beer.

"Dodgeball Targets #1" - Eugene Lang College - This category was meant to show the antithesis of a jock school. The founder's name was EUGENE. Enough said. We call this the My-school-sounds-wimpy-so-why-try" complex. Other targets on this list: Franklin Olin, Sarah Lawrence.

"Most Politically Active #1" - U.S. Naval Academy - Seems unfair. If you go to, let's say, George Washington U. (like me!), you hand out some fliers on foreign policy and POOF!, you're politically active. And what does Navy fight back with? Oh, I don't know, flying off an aircraft carrier in the Red Sea to carry out foreign policy. Oh, yes, GW? Maverick called. He just buzzed your freshman with the fliers in HIS JET.

"Happy Students #1" - Pomona College - The address listed is for Claremont, CA. Sophomore #1 - "Hey is that the swimming pool outside your dorm window?"
Sophomore #2 - "No. It's the Pacific Ocean."

Oh, and I lied before. I don't have a business card that says finance.
I don't actually have a business card.