Driving in the DC area: never a dull moment.
I drive 5 miles to work every day. Indeed, I have a coveted commute for this region of the country: no public transportation, avoidance of the Beltway, and gas stations that have crept back under 2 dollars a gallon. Despite the distance, it still takes me 20 minutes to get there. So I have my morning distractions:
1. Junkies on HFS
2. The Counting Crows best of... CD
3. My morning Gatorade
4. Trying to remember if I packed a dress shirt to change into after the gym. God, I hate going through the day shirtless. Makes my tie look real stupid.
Anyways, I've done some calculations, and the Tyson's Corner commercial area is about 6 square miles, and it contains eleventy billion cars. (Some of them are mini-coopers, so we're not THAT cramped.) This staggering proportion explains today's experiment, boys and girls.
Driving north on Gallows Road (what freak show named roads in this area? So morbid, so clean) I slowed to a crawl in front of the firehouse, as in the turn lane in the middle of the road sat a number of cars, the closest being one of Fairfax County's finest. It looks like a nice 2000+ black BMW slammed into the rear end of...another shiny silver BMW!? Oh, man. This is incredible! Two fancypants cars hit each other?!? And the two women exchanging information are what I like to call the "Essence of Prep." One had the teal sweater tied over the shoulders of her white polo, and the other woman was kickin' it visor style and a tennis skirt (no doubt on her way to McLean Racquet Club.) And the man in the suit talking with them looked ticked as well...
Wait a minute - why does he look so ticked? Why is there a third man at all?
I keep rolling forward, and I see that there was a third vehicle involved in this melee. It appears that Teal Sweater didn't hit the brakes when she was plowed into, and that Mr. Suit got the business end of her silver grill and hood ornament. Right into the back of his car, the one at the front of this mess...
A midnight blue BMW. Convertible.
That little GEICO insurance lizard just died of a heart attack.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
The Ultimate Wrecking Machine
Written by Chris Condon at 9:26 AM
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2 comments:
So Tennis Skirt plowed into Teal Sweater who slammed Mr. Suit? Compare this to the accident that I stumbled upon on my way home last week (in the same place that I've seen 4 or 5 other accidents since I've lived here, you'd think they'd try to fix that). The Shirtless Wonder in his jumped-up truck rammed into the back of what appeared to be Carpool Mom's SUV. At least I hope that was a carpool, she had 6 kids in one of those huge Suburbans. And then there were 3 police cars. 3! We must not have enough crime in this town.
More crime can be arranged. If Jerry Maguire lived there, he could be arrested for shoplifting the pudee.
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