I'm not even supposed to be here today.

Ok, so I got enough "Your Friend sent you this CNN.com article" e-mails yesterday, that I figure that this needs to be the topic du jour. No, no, not the one about the bear with discriminating taste. (Although, it's good to see that all of God's creatures have little care for the awful. Ever seen a bear watching a movie with the Olsen twins? I thought not.) No, the news from the balcony is that Kevin Smith has announced the January production of a sequel to his first (and arguably his best) feature film, Clerks.

Huh?

That was my first reaction. Kevin Smith seemed to be doing what he can to prolong his career in Hollywood in a very savvy fashion. Jersey Girl, although I never saw it, seemed to be a good flick to get into his portfolio in order to make him seem like a formidable choice for future projects. He was slated to direct and write "The Green Hornet", although has recently scaled back to just the writing title. (well played, clerk.) Even an update to Fletch was in the works. But first, he's gotta give us more Clerks. Don't get me wrong, I thought Clerks was an outstanding movie. But where does the sequel come in? Part of its charm was that it was the day in the life of a couple guys, nothing more. Knowing more about their live, I think, takes away from the original's charm. Unless it's a VH1 Behind the Register look at Dante and Randal, I don't know how much story can develop out of this. (I need more cowbell.)

The news has reported that he's fallen in love with the movie while working on the 10th anniversary edition of the DVD. This reason, above all others, I can understand. When Spudicarius and I did the parody concert in 'ought ought, there's nothing like revisiting that project to make yourself want to write some more tunes for a concert redux. (Avril Lavigne parody? What was I thinking?) The movie will take place about 10 years later. They can't still be in the quik-stop and the video store at this points in their lives. SO, I'm assuming he's got a sweet vision in mind, otherwise he'd know better. It's like trying to put the same actors in the same roles for one last unneccessary hurrah. Hold a sec, phone call.

"Finance, this is Chris. What's that? That was the premise of Major League 2? Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Ok, thanks for the call. Bye."

Like I said, a screenplay worth filming is essential to do the first movie justice. It's a fortunate thing that this is Kevin Smith - I feel he can pull it off, despite having NO idea what he was doing in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Looking back, it was just a lot of cameos with no real premise. This one will be smaller, more focused, and better. Of course, if this becomes a Clerks franchise, how many sequels can we expect when it takes a small budget to produce???

37?