Curses!

Got a beat-up glove, a homemade bat, and brand-new pair of shoes
You know I think it's time to give this game a ride.
Just to hit the ball and touch 'em all - a moment in the sun
It's gone and you can tell that one goodbye!
- John Fogarty

And while this may not be strongest set of lyrics the Creedence frontman had ever penned, it does capture the excitement that comes with Major League playoff baseball. With the Atlanta Braves getting ousted last night by the Astros, we're down to the final four. Thank God.

Unlike football, there are no fantasy implications riding on any pitch from here on out, so I can sit back, relax, and enjoy the drama. There's a sort of electricity that accompanies most playoffs in sports, but it really takes baseball a tier above. Football and hockey are exciting all during the regular season; they don't need this little bump that baseball and Fox needs. Every game seems close, a lead is never safe, and did I mention the Atlanta Braves lost last night?

Oh. It appears I already did. Whatever.

Yes, yes, we all know that the World Series is th champion-determining round. However, in a repeat performance of last year, the climactic series yet again is the American League Championship Series. Redsox Nation vs. the Bronx Bombers. Definitely one of the top sports rivalries there is. Aw, what the heck, here's my list of Top 5 Current Rivalries in Sports:

1. Boston Red Sox vs. New York Yankees
2. Michigan vs. Ohio State College Football
3. Duke vs. North Carolina College Basketball
4. Detroit Red Wings vs. Colorado Avalanche
5. Washington Redskins vs. Fans' Skull-Crushing Expectations

Part of the intrigue with the Sox-Yanx series is the long-standing belief by the state of Massachusetts that ever since Boston traded Babe Ruth to New York, their chances of winning the pennant are about as good as Shall We Dance? taking this week's box office.

The following are a list of things that the Red Sox need to happen in order to avoice getting Bucknered yet again in 2004.

• Pedro Martinez is going to have to fight more people than Don Zimmer to decimate that line-up. Hey Pedro, why don't you try taking on somebody actually in the line-up.
• Johnny Damon in his Christ-like visage must find a way to transubstantiate singles into triples.
• David Ortiz has to eat Kenny Lofton.
• The Red Sox need a new catchphrase that the Boston faithful can take hold of and proclaim. Last year, "Cowboy Up" didn't exactly pan out. This year's suggestion: Cowboy Wheeee!
• They must, at all costs, avoid staring into the eyes of Derek Jeter. He's dreamy, I hear.
• Convince the Yankees that the starting pitcher in Game 2 should be none other than Mayor McCheese.
• Play Aaron Boone in a game of season-ending, foot-breaking basketball so that he can't hit a walk-off homer this year. Oh...ok, that one's a lock.

"It's 'cause the other teams can't stop staring at those damn pinstripes."