Fuel for the Fire

I've give you March Madness...

No, not of the college basketball variety, unfortunately. I had a whole post laid out to help you finish in 5th place in your office pool (because that's how well I do every year, 5th.), but because of the travel that got in the way, I didn't even get to fill out a bracket. 'Twas ok, I guess, since I know I would have had Wake Forest in the Final Four and Alabama going a few rounds, but then again, my other big picks are still in the hunt. Thinking about it further, I probably would have put together a pretty decent bracket. Not enough to win, mind you, but enough to finish, well, 5th. So, yeah, all bets are off this year, which as fine. As they say, a penny saved is a penny that can be used to help pay for a breakfast bagel. Which reminds me...

Be right back.

Ok, back. No the Madness of March won't get any nets cut down. And the only upset will be me, when I look into the gaping void that is currently my wallet. You see, there is another form of madness out there these days, and the players are not BC, 'Nova and Texas Tech. The players, sadly, are BP, Mobil, and Texaco.

Gas prices are yet again sprialing upward. A predicted 13 cent rise in the cost of a gallon of regular unleaded in the next two weeks will not help subside this spike anytime soon. Forget bracket busters. We've got a budget buster on our hands. Most of your expenses month in and month out are fixed. Rent stays the same. Cable and internet stay the same. And assuming you don't jack the heat up during the coldest days of winter (wimps.), even your electricity bill stys largely the same. You can't do without filling your tank, as sooner or later, your car will stop short on its way to its destination (UConn, Syracuse, cough cough). And no matter what the price is, you're going to have to pay (or ride you bicycle on the Beltway, your choice.) So until the costs come back down, the budget is squeezed a little tighter.

East coasters, we don't even have it that bad. My recent business trip was actually a thinly-veiled Blog Exclusive Research Trip (BERT). On the Coast du West, gas prices make our local rates look like they don't even belong in the same league. Our prices are the Farleigh Dickinson to their North Carolina. Filling up the rental car before returning it to come home docked us 2.59 a gallon. Do you know what I could have done with that money? Bought a whole lot of donuts, eaten them, and then run to my destination to burn off the calories. Now I can see why L.A. can't seem to nail down a pro football franchise. The cost to fuel the team bus would bankrupt even Dan Snyder and the Redskins. It's scary stuff.

Well, friends (and complete strangers,) gas prices are just part of life. So it's your job to make the most of your visit to the pump. There's plenty of free services offered by your local gas stations which 9 times out of 10, you don't take advantage of. I'm not telling you to exploit the good folks at Exxon, just fully realize your investment. Bucknell University only makes the tournament once every 20 something years. Did they just come to punch the clock? No! They kicked the Kansas Jayhawks out of the tourney. It's time to stop going through the motions people, and get what you pay for.

First off, next to the pump is a bucket of murky blue water and a squeegee. I want you to was your windshield every single time you get gas. And the back window. And the side windows. And your headlamps. Taillamps. Even your license plate. Make that baby shine with your free cleaning solution.

Second, I want you to take advantage of the trash receptacles conveniently provided at the station. Just like Utah did with UTEP, it's time to take out the trash. Rather than walking your kitchen garbage all the way to the dumpster in the land of Far Far Away, bring it to your much closer parked car. And when you get to the Shell station, find a way to make it fit through that 9 inch by 9 inch hole.

Finally, most new gas stations (outside of NJ) have a protective roof above the pumps. This allows people to fill the vehicles, high and dry. Another feature of these new coverings is the music that gets played from the inset speakers. Forget iTunes, this is free music, and your ears must go shopping. Next time you get to one of these stations, call all of your friends (ignore the cell pone warning on the pump,) and invite them to come and down for a Gasoline Techno Dance Party. Or better yet -

The Big Dance.