Best Company Ever, Chapter 4

New management techniques are born everyday. Well guess what, I’m a new father!

The life of a Chief Awesome Office is never at rest. Chief Executive Officers, the traditional bossmen at just about every Fortune 500 company, spend their work week focusing on making decisions that can have categorized as “executive.” I, on the other hand, have a far greater task to conquer. My responsibility to make sure that all decisions made are “awesome.” Not just the top-level managerial executive crap, I mean ALL the decisions. All must be awesome if the company of the future is to profit. It’s micromanaging, sure, but it can spawn new strategies, like this. Or this. Or even this.

Well, staffing issues aside, it’s time to lay the hammer down. When it comes office culture and training, Corporate America has got to take a page from Leisure America. When it comes to the topics of process orientation, research and development, and process re-engineering, no entity has got a better system than Major League Baseball. From the MLB is where we borrow our management tip of the day:

Institute a period of Spring Training in the Company Fiscal Year.

No, no, not the “Put everybody in a stuffy room and memorize the new mission statement” type of spring training. I’m talking Spring Training, off-site, either sunny Florida or Arizona. Hey Travel department, book a practice facility, we’ve got work to do!

Baseball teams’ annual kickoff varies greatly from their regular season protocol. From late February through the month of March, teams relocate their main operations (batting, pitching, fielding departments to a warmer climate, where employees can hone their skills. The setting is relaxed, the meetings are held out on the campus grass, and your fans come to watch you do business. Departments do not work in isolation from the rest of the economy; other firms come to scheduled conferences every other day to test the results of this training. A lot of the training doesn’t actually make you DO your job, it just lets you practice doing your job. The weather is nice, the hours are good, and the dress is casual. Seems like a damn good model to this CAO.

So, that’s the plan. Every February, I’d move the company to Clearwater, Florida. Not only will I bring current employees, I’d bring a group of graduating seniors from top universities. This will essentially serve as their interview process. Nothing can tell a manager how good an employee will better than an old-fashioned, play to stay, tryout. This will also motivate current employees to work hard and take this process improvement time to heart. After all, it’s quite possible that when Spring Training comes to an end, they could find a pink slip in their locker, er…cubicle.

Also, as the main goal of this 6 weeks is development and improvement, I want the feeling around the clubhouse coffee machine to be laid back and smooth. Therefore, the company dress code will be relaxed for the entire period. Well, not completely. First off, all employees get to wear baseball caps. All of my good paper writing is done with my lucky cap, and I feel that this relaxed feel will put people in the easy state they need to be in to excel. Also, windbreakers, warm-up pants, and Mizuno typing gloves will be provided, all emblazoned with the company logo. It shows corporate unity, yet casual style.

I’m not saying that real world responsibilities disappear and the company tanks for 42 days, either. We still need to meet our annual goals, so a portion of each day will be allocated to taking care of the daily activities. And I will oversee said activities, making sure that all outcomes are awesome. After all, it’s my job.

By the end of Spring Training, employees will feel refreshed and ready take on cubicle life for another 10 and a half months. They will also know where they stand on the corporate ladder (Safety Tip for the Kids: Don’t stand on ladders. That’s dangerous stuff.) After all, this period of the year will also include the focal point review. Salaries will be determined based on effort, preseason results, and remembering to bring your glove and cleats to practice. That’s standard ops in the business world.

Play ball!