Identity Theft

Most teachers of human anatomy and genetics will tell you that human beings are not unlike snowflakes; no two people are the same. Even identical twins, despite their predestination to be mirror images of one another, have enough different physical characteristics that allow onlookers to eventually discern the difference between the two. (Unlike snowflakes, human beings are not expected to melt. In case you were, uh, wondering. I took BIO for non-concentrators, as you may have guessed.)

I have no such mirror image.

Or so I thought.

Wow.

As I've grown up, I've heard several comparisons for me when it comes to the age-old icebreaker of a question "Who do I remind you of?" When you're young, the answers are unoriginal and far from unexpected - "You look like your mother and father!" Yes, yes, I know, you see there's this small contributing factor called DNA that allows me to silently accept your obvious statement. Giving this answer to that question is playing it safe. It's like putting money on Duke to oust Delaware State in Round Numero Uno.

But as the years have transpired, the answers to the Question du Jour have gotten more engaging and interesting. Freshman year of college, Allision Fraser told me I looked like the kid who plays young Josh Baskin in the movie Big. Later, I decided to find out the kid's name, and after exploring his filmography (which including Newsies, yes), I'll take this cosmic link to David Moscow, sure.

The most fequent comparison I have heard in passing is to Christopher Reeve. Frankly, I've never seen the feature that has people continually offering this suggestion. I mean, I have never, ever worn a red cape, nor can I fly. When I go up for a frisbee, despite some serious hangtime, I will come crashing down to Earth at some point. (And barring any lampostal intervention, I'm bringing the disc with me.)

Thirdly, a normal suggestion (which may be nothing more than a personal jab) that I get with this question is, "You look just like Chris Condon when he was 6." Yeah, yeah, very funny. Well let me tell you something - some haircuts just never go out of style. Beehives? Gone. Mohawks? Toast. Basic part on the left, block cut the back? A true classic.

I thought these inferior suggestions left me without a twin in this world. I was just about finished with rationalizing my lonely appearance, content with the fact that there's no one else out there to mimic my every attribute. And then...

I met the guy.

So, in case you are a reader who's never actually met me, now you've got a visual. I can't say that I ever wear flannel, but that was a creative decision my counterpart decided to pursue. Maybe going forward, that's how you'll have to tell us apart. But sure, enough, that's pretty much me. Well, minus the pine trees, too.

Now that's a surreal life.