Getting Promotional

Well, it’s official. Rung Number One down, here I come Rung Number Two. I’ve decided to put my arm strength to the test and climb the Corporate Ladder. I know I’ve got a long way to go before I have a resume worthy of the Chief Awesome Office position, but I figure this is just the first of many steps. After all, the CAO position is indeed a highly sought after one. And I mean, why the heck not? That dude gets a Playstation in his office. Just imagine the important awesome decisions that this innovative new office tool will aid.

Mangerial Lackeys: “Sir, we really need to know what to do about our profit projections for the 4th quarter. What do you think?”
CAO Condon: “In the 4th quarter, I’m going to spread the field, focus on passing to T.O., play tough defense, and tell John Madden that no matter how much he cheats, I will prevail.”
Lackeys: “He’s so brilliant.”

So, yeah, the perks are nice, but I’m still a long way off from sitting in the executive recliner and having access to the in-office Wendy’s counter. But at least I’m one step closer than yesterday!

You’re looking at the new Deputy Financial Controller for National Capital Region Facilities. (well, only if you have a spycam in my office. Otherwise, you’re just reading me.)

This is the best kind of promotion, mainly because I didn’t have to do anything extra to receive this honor. You see, my supervisor stepped down, my colleague was promoted to do her job, and I was promoted to do his job. Will someone be hired now to do my job? No, I just get to do my job and the responsibilities I’m going to inherit. I know, I know, it sounds like a raw deal, but it’s nice to be recognized and valued for the hard-working financial analyst by day, superhero by night employee that I’ve grown to be in the last 2 plus years. Will there be a monetary gain to this new found improvement of title? Most likely. But there’s something even bigger at stake, which made me wholeheartedly accept the ubersupervisor’s offer.

Business cards.

After all, how have you expected me to win free lunches for the last two years? I mean sure, they often say you can just write your name and contact info on a piece of paper and submit it, but you KNOW they never pick that one to give the free lunch to. This is how restaurant staffs around the country keep the workplace lighthearted. By laughing at Condon and his entry-level friends. Busboys of the world, I am writing to inform you that I will no longer be the point of your amusement. Because my contact information is now on a 2 inch by 3.5 rectangle made of high quality paper. And yes, that’s a corporate logo, not just me emulating said logo with a freehand sketch. So, in a word, HA!

Moving on, there’s some things you should know about an internal promotion. In order to go by the letter of the Human Resources law, my department could not simply hand the promotion to me on a platter. No, no, I need to fill out formal job application form, despite the fact that I’m already here. Let’s see if I can remember some of the questions I was subjected to…

Q: When would you be able to begin?
A: I can leave my current position at 10:02 this morning. Give me a second to collect my things, so, 10:03?

Q: Would you be willing to relocate?
A: Erm, you mean like sit on the other side of my desk? Hey, if it gets me business cards, I’m all for it.